Daily News

New City Transportation

Walking is overrated. Running up and down the hall has become a thing of the past. Get around in style on our new train line!


Engineer Lance revs the engine on Cahill county’s newest addition to the carpet! Proud of this new invention, Lance was very eager to have someone try it out. Unfortunately passengers were hard to come by and even after chasing one down and commanding her to ride the train she still had to be drug, under protest, to the box cars. A wise onlooker suggested that the teddy bears ride instead.

After a recent modification, the train has taken on the great outdoors and seem perfect for hauling acorns, sticks, rocks and any other interesting object found along the railway lines.

Note: passenger weight limit not to exceed one pound unless mother engine is employed for extra push.


Getting the kids to bed has taken on athletic proportions for one urban family. Needing a way to unwind and relax from the day, one couple decided to take an evening walk. Not only did this provide opportunity for uninterrupted conversation and family togetherness, but confining their children to the stroller caused general sleepiness and agreeability about bed time. Having hit upon this wonderful sleep aid, plans are laid to make exercise an evening ritual.

Health and Beauty


Announcing the winner of the Little Miss Cahill beauty pageant: Ivy Annette!

Special attention was given to her Sunday morning attire while rosy little cheeks won the judges’ enthusiastic admiration. Thanks to Brian Cahill (aka daddy) for judging this event.



In honor of Veteran’s day our cover model shows off the latest in patriotic attire. Let’s hear it for our heroes!


A light snowfall despite the 70º temperature proved somewhat messy in Cahill county. While defrosting her freezer with the aid of two children and a hair dryer, one mother reported that the rain of snow and ice turned into a small flood. Clean up efforts required 3 towels and a load of laundry. Some looting resulted from the chaos and a peanut butter cookie is reported missing. Small boy suspected.

Around Town

Cahill county prides itself on community. To enhance relationships and gladden hearts everywhere each edition strives to record happy events that will bring a smile to our readers. Just this morning live footage was captured of two happy little children, coexisting in peace and harmony. We hope this brightens your day.

Comics: Good for a laugh

Lance, after learning his full name has recently taken to calling his sister “Ivy George”

Just overheard “Uh-oh, Lance tear Bible. Mommy pix (fix) it”

Lance put on Brian’s good shoes, walked to the door and announced “Lance go work”

When Ivy has a toy Lance usually wants it. If she won’t hand it over he throws a fit which usually moves her to generosity. She will give it to him with a sweet smile and say “thank you”.

The kids are learning about traffic lights. When it’s dark and I come up on a red light Ivy will say “stoplight!” then we talk about “red light stop” until it’s time to “green light go’”.

Lance counted his goldfish crackers at lunch today “one, two, five, three, four”

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