Tomorrow, tomorrow, they’re coming tomorrow, it’s only a day away! 🙂
17-May-2005
Wow! I feel great now! Medicines prescribed for big people have great effects on little people. 🙂 I’m going to have to start a collection of the various bottles received from different caring souls, plus get an in-box to hold all of my “doctor’s orders.” Everyone has been so compassionate; it just kind of overwhelms me. One person makes the most sympathetic little groan that I want to hug them each time.
Just so it’s clear, I didn’t re-injure myself today, it’s just a little aggravated and sore, nothing that a few frantic days of studying won’t cure 🙂 I’ve been thinking a lot about why I got the set back a few days ago and I ended up writing my commentary on that line of thinking, and I’m going to post two paragraphs which follows my line of thought.
Sorrow and joy; opposites reconciled. The sorrow is great, frantic, desperate; trouble has caused the afflicted to cry out. Yet the very source of pain becomes the catalyst for joy. The joy that comes is very different from the sorrow; it is calm, controlled and peaceful; a quiet inner happiness that comes from being well off.
I have experienced a time of sorrow, maybe not as intense as the disciples losing Jesus, but I did cry out in despair and frustration. I sustained injury not once but twice; my lifestyle as I knew it has been altered; I have a fear of what the near future might bring. But I have this hope, that God will turn my sorrow into joy as I strive to put on a garment of praise for the spirit of heaviness. In Psalm 51 David pleads with God to “Make me to hear joy and gladness,” the word “hear” implies attentiveness and obedience. I must purposefully listen, straining to catch His voice, which could not be heard when I was so busy venting my own feelings. Maybe that’s why the joy that comes is calm and quiet, such a contrast to the sorrow. The last half of the plea from David is that “the bones which Thou hast broken may rejoice.” My source of sorrow will be turned into the basis of my joy.
15-May-2005
My family is going to be here in a week! 🙂 🙂 🙂 (that’s the three of us)
15-May-2005
Sorry about that last post, I shouldn’t write on soccer nights. Look at the the profile picture, it’s a drawing of mine that I have hanging up here in our room. As I looked at it last night and today it sturck me that here is Jesus, His body borken for me; can’t I be broken for Him?
14-May-2005
This whole injury thing is so frustrating! I can hardly do anything without setting it off again. I think I have kind of been waiting for something like this to happen, it was too good to last.
There’s a verse in the Bible that says “take heed where you think you stand less you fall” I knew this and I also knew where I stood physically. I was proud of my standing though I always thought I could be much better than I currently was. I mean, I could do 75 push-ups in a minute, I had run a 6 min. mile, and I even had a six pack. I had physical endurance and I loved it! Yet I was also wary that at any moment I might lose it, so many times I have come so close but God spared me, why then? Why now?
I think to have had something major would have been easier to work with, I could have thrown myself into rehabilitation, but all I can do right now is sit and wait. What does God want me to learn? Did I miss it the first time and so I have to have a second go around?
I keep thinking about how we have to be broken for God to use us; Job said, “I was at ease but He hath broken me asunder”. But David says that He keepeth the bones of the righteous, not one of them is broken. I must plead with David that God would “make me to hear joy and gladness, that the bones which Thou hast broken may rejoice.”
So now I am broken in God’s hands; now His strength can be made manifest because my own is gone. I can’t even carry a goofy panful of stuff in the kitchen without feeling it, talk about helplessness. I pray that I will find what ever it is that He is wanting from me so that He will not have to break me worse.
